rosefox: An extremely delighted white toddler with messy hair beams at the camera. (kit)
Rose Fox ([personal profile] rosefox) wrote2017-02-23 01:17 am

"It's so hard to say goodbye"

Kit's developing some separation anxiety (yes, only now, at nearly 14 months!) and started crying tonight when we began the bedtime routine because bedtime means saying goodnight and everyone going away. We still did what we always do: big family hug, two parents say night-night and leave, and the third reads stories and provides cuddles and puts the baby in the crib. They clung to all of us during goodnight hugs, glumly (and sleepily) submitted to storytime, and finally fell asleep after only a little more fussing. Then we all sat around feeling heartbroken because it is so hard to see the baby so sad.

Tonight's bedtime story was No Matter What, by sheer coincidence; I spotted it while Kit was demolishing their bookshelf (a favorite activity) and realized we hadn't read it in ages. I'm never sure how much Kit understands of the actual words we say, but I think the meaning was clear, especially with the way I kept kissing and hugging them as I read. And I think it helped.

They've started getting upset when books end, too. We always have to open the book again to reassure them that the story is still there and they can reread it whenever they want. Sometimes they flip through it to find a favorite page before reluctantly accepting that the book is done. When we let them turn pages, they turn them really fast, without waiting for us to finish reading any text; one long look at the images on the page and then it's on to the next. It's so very like the way I blaze through books and then feel disappointed when they're done that it makes me laugh every time.

Kit endured their first ear infection this week, poor thing, and has been taking amoxicillin for it. As soon as they started on the antibiotics, their fever went away entirely and their vigor and appetite returned. (Their first full day of betterness ended with them not being able to fall asleep until 11 p.m. because all the energy they'd lacked while ill came roaring back with a vengeance. Fortunately that was a one-time thing and they're back on their usual sleep schedule.) I'm so glad for our access to good medical care, and also extremely glad to have a baby who sucks obediently on medication syringes, even when they hate the taste of the medicine, and doesn't appear to have allergies to anything. We were all very relieved that they went back to daycare today, because five days in a row of sick (and then recovering) baby at home was very challenging for all of us, especially as we were dealing with another family crisis at the same time. As always, I have no idea how single and stay-at-home parents do it. No idea whatsoever.

We're all quite convinced that Kit has psychic powers that only activate when they're asleep. Whenever X goes to bed—which doesn't happen at the same time every night—Kit sleep-fusses just enough to set off the monitor. Just now I returned to writing this entry after a while of doing other things, and Kit promptly made a few tiny noises. So I'm thinking at them as hard as I can: See, silly baby, I told you that we think of you even when you're not right in front of us. Rest now. No one is too far away, and we'll always be there when you need us.

[identity profile] justphoenix.livejournal.com 2017-02-23 03:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Awww...family hug :)

[identity profile] amaebi.livejournal.com 2017-02-23 08:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Holding my thumbs for Kit's recovered good health.

[identity profile] amaebi.livejournal.com 2017-02-23 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Hurrah!
ext_45721: Rabbit lying on a couch, reading large, antique book of Poe. (bliss.)

[identity profile] caudelac.livejournal.com 2017-02-23 08:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Yay object permanence! Miles got it at about the same time, though he went off the fussy deep end. Ultimately, we had to do sleep lady to get him to calm down and sleep again. I wish you much better fortune in that.

...I also have a theory that kids in general are incredibly sensitive to whatever their parents are doing and feeling (unless they don't want to get caught at something), out of a kind of survival instinct. Parental activity and mood shaping... nearly everything else for a Small.

:( ear infection, but glad things are better!

[identity profile] ms-violet.livejournal.com 2017-02-26 04:08 pm (UTC)(link)
For what it's worth:

I bought this book for a friend who was 4, when his grandfather died. We read it together while I spent time with him while his family was at the funeral. At the time, he didn't want to pay attention to the book much (he had a lot on his mind) so his listening involved a lot of wriggling and fidgeting, but he wanted me to finish reading it. Months later, when I was babysitting him another time, he expressed some anxiety about being away from his parents, and I reminded him of the book. He remembered it, we discussed it, and his mood improved.

https://www.amazon.com/Invisible-String-Patrice-Karst/dp/0875167349

I don't think the book deals with death specifically, I think it's more about distance. Your mileage may vary. It might be worth checking out from a local library for a look-see. I picked it out in a rush along with a couple of other books about coping with death, so I can't remember where I saw the book recommended. I think it was a psychology web site.

Now that I know Kit checks on specific pages to make sure they're OK, I'm DYING with curiosity to know what Kit would think of The Monster At The End of This Book. That book gave me so much heart-hammering suspense, and so much relief at the end. I couldn't get enough of it.

I think I read it for the first time, like, last summer.

Just kidding I was teeny.