a garden in riotous bloom
Beautiful. Damn hard. Increasingly useful.
"And has bad dreams; I fear he has bad dreams" 
rosefox: An old woman knitting. (knitting)
I have entirely fallen off of doing 30 in 30, which is a bummer, but "I can write a sentence a day" is not the same as "I can write a one-sentence story a day" and honestly I haven't been even wanting to write a sentence a day. I got new arm braces that let me knit without damaging my arms, and apparently knitting and writing take up the same space in my head, because since then I have had no interest in writing at all. The sweater's coming along great, though. I realized that I wasn't going to have enough yarn, and that entire brand has been discontinued, but some Ravelry stash-sleuthing turned up someone who had two skeins of it (after several responses of "Huh, I thought I had that but I can't find it now"), so I should be able to finish the sweater at least as a vest, and might even have enough for sleeves.

A friend came over for dinner tonight, so I tidied the living room and dining room before she got here, and did the dishes after. Now everyone's asleep and the house is tidy and the dryer is humming and it's so peaceful. We had really good conversation, full of belly laughs and deep feelings, and the late-night calm is the perfect counterpart to an exuberant evening.

Everyone's mostly asleep, anyway. Kit's working up to unassisted walking, and that tends to come with sleep disruption. They've been whimpering in their sleep a lot, and sometimes fully waking up. They don't generally need anyone to come in—they're a pro at self-soothing to sleep, and very good about doing it on their own if they can—but it's clearly not super restful sleep, and they've been pretty tired during the day.

All the adults in the house have also been sleeping badly. This morning I went to bed at 5, woke up at 8, and then went back to sleep and had a really horrifying nightmare about the end of the world. Somehow global warming had led the sun to start expanding and it was clearly going to destroy the earth, but no one knew whether the end was coming in ten minutes or four years. A lot of the dream was narrated by news announcers trying to make sense of it and sorting through lots of conflicting information. I was on my own in the middle of the city and couldn't reach X or J because all the phones were overloaded. I was sort of fatalistically calm about this. The nearest place where I knew anyone was my colleague Peter's apartment, so I went there to retrieve my passport and birth certificate, which I'd left there for some reason. I was wearing a short nightshirt and had to go up a very long escalator, which felt like it belonged in the dreams of someone who feels body shame; I don't, so I just found it vaguely inconvenient. Peter was on his balcony looking out at the sun (visuals totally stolen from "Inconstant Moon"), which was huge and had a dark red corona. I said I was glad we'd lived long enough for me to celebrate ten years of working together, and he kind of nodded and shrugged and we were sad but not really emotional about it. And then I woke up going ????????. Eventually I went back to sleep and had another dream about going around the city with some friends I hadn't seen in a while, and that dream also tried to turn into a nightmare (about it being our last hurrah before I died of heart disease that I'd allowed to go untreated) and I refused to let it. I don't often have conscious control of my dreams but for that one I explicitly would not let the scarybad storyline happen. So that wasn't terrible, at least, but it was not what one would call a restful night.

And J's had awful insomnia, and Kit's whimpering sets off the monitor and wakes X up. J and I have suggested giving up the monitor altogether, because if Kit actually yelled X would hear it through their bedrooms' shared wall, but X doesn't think it's time for that yet, so I think we're going back to me turning their monitor on when I go to bed, rather than them having it on all night. Anything that helps any of us sleep is a good thing.

I'm going to do the last of my chores and get to bed; I have Kit-time tomorrow afternoon while X and J have a date, and it'd be nice to get up early enough for some family time before that starts. Maybe if I go to bed a little earlier, I'll sleep better. Stranger things have happened.
13 May 2017 07:48
sovay: (Morell: quizzical)
and that dream also tried to turn into a nightmare (about it being our last hurrah before I died of heart disease that I'd allowed to go untreated)

For the record, I really can't see that happening.
13 May 2017 07:52
rosefox: Green books on library shelves. (Default)
It is among the least likely of my possible ends, yes. That may have been why it was relatively easy to refuse to buy in to that aspect of the dream. (The part where an ex-boyfriend showed up carrying his shiny new high-powered rifle and was grumbling about me making him leave it at home: much more plausible.)
13 May 2017 13:41
hrj: (Default)
There must be something floating around in the dream ether. I had an unusually memorable nightmare this morning involving airline hero Captain Sullenberger as some sort of villain mastermind. The rest of the details now escape me...
13 May 2017 18:20
rosefox: Green books on library shelves. (Default)

How remarkably specific.

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