Hey poly parents: my pal T is in a stressful situation and would like some reassurance/info from people who've been there. They're married and newly pregnant (a first, planned pregnancy, which both T and their spouse are very happy about), and worried about how this will affect their relationship with their non-resident boyfriend. The boyfriend was fine with the thought of a hypothetical pregnancy but now is likewise anxious about how an actual baby will change things. T wrote to me, "I think it's tricky for [boyfriend] because he has friends with babies who seem totally swept up in BABY and we don't have models for any poly folk doing this to point to.... I would love to hear about people in a similar situation to mine. I'm sure they must exist more often than not but I don't hear much about them. And so many poly people that I know believe babies ruin relationships/friendships. But I'm sure there must be people with non-parent partners whose relationships stay good throughout."
Any advice or reassurance for these folks?