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rosefox: Fiona from <I>Shrek" with mouth wide open, singing. (music)
[livejournal.com profile] tithenai linked to this news story titled "Ted Cruz Challenges Donald Trump to a Duel" and suggested it should lead to a Hamilton earworm, so this is all her fault.

(TTTO "Ten Duel Commandments" from Hamilton)

Number one! The challenge: demand he go on Fox
If he agrees, no need for further talks
Number two! If he won't, grab a mic, take the stage
Imply he wouldn't dare to stand and face your rage
Number three! Have your PR people meet on Skype
Figure out if one-on-one debates are worth the hype
This is commonplace, 'specially with right-wingers
Most disputes end with a friendly dinner
Number four! If they don't reach a peace, that's all right
Time to book a slot on a talk show tonight
You tell the host some jokes, you treat him with civility
He joins you in dismissing your opponent's viability
Five! Debate before the caucus is convened
Pick a big arena where you'll make a scene
Number six! Leave a note for your electoral committee
Dress up pretty, practice sounding confident and witty
Seven! Tug your tie. Ready for the moment
Of adrenaline when you finally face your opponent
Number eight! Your last chance to negotiate
Call the other guy, say you want to set the record straight

[TRUMP]
Afternoon, Ted.

[CRUZ]
Are we on, Don?

[TRUMP]
Can we agree that the conclusion is foregone?

[CRUZ]
You're wrong.
The Iowans deserve to hear your words, Don.

[TRUMP]
With that woman in charge—the ditzy blonde? I'm gone.

[CRUZ]
Hang on, you're dissing blonde women? That's not even sexist so much as gratuitous.

[TRUMP]
Okay, so we're doing this.

Number nine! Look him in the eye, make your points by rote
Wait for citizens to cast their votes
Then count
One two three four
Five six seven eight nine
Ten o'clock news REPORT--
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