R14: How the hell did you get in here? Who are you?
R26: Hi. I'm from the future. I'm you from the future.
R14: Oh my God, you have short hair! I'm going to cut my hair?!
R14: So if you're really me, what number am I thinking of?
R26: Uh... what year is it? Probably 8, 8's always a good guess. Might be 2. I don't think it's 17 yet.
R14: Holy crap.
R26: And after that you probably thought "69, dude!" but I'll forgive you for that.
R14: So when do I get to have sex? And kiss a girl?
R26: You get to kiss a guy before any of that. This year, actually. Sex early next year. Kissing girls... can't remember if that happens next year or this year.
R14: So the legal age of consent can kiss my ass?
R26: Basically, yes.
R26: "Radical" is kind of outmoded. Try "Awesome" or "Fuckin' A".
R14: And, um, kissing... what's it like?
R26: I could show you.
R14: *seriously considers it*
R26: *seriously considers it*
R14: If I say no, am I going to regret it?
R26: Due to the joys of causality, you won't remember that this ever happened; so, probably not.
R14: But that means that if I say yes, I won't remember what it's like.
R26: This is true.
R14: So it'd all be for you and I wouldn't get anything out of it. Well, fuck that.
R26: If you can hold on to that attitude when it comes to people wanting to kiss you, you will go very far.
R14: When do I get published?
R26: Sometime in the late '90s. You don't get paid for it until 2001 or so, and that's for book reviews. In fact, so far I have yet to be paid for writing fiction. The book reviews are fun, though.
R14: Wait, I don't get paid for writing fiction at all? What the hell do I do for a living? Am I--I mean, are you an editor?
R26: My main job actually doesn't have anything to do with writing at all.
R14: So I am a lousy writer.
R26: Nah, just not a very dedicated one. As with anything else, you do it until you stop enjoying it or it gets difficult and then wander off and do something else.
R14: You really are me from the future, aren't you.
R26: Same bat-time, same bad habits!
R14: That didn't make any sense.
R26: Yes, but at least it's a cultural reference you'll actually get.
R14: So what's different about me? I mean, other than the hair. Why did you cut your hair?
R26: I got tired of it being long.
R14: *cuddles her hair protectively*
R26: Trust me, once you start sleeping with people and your hair tries to strangle them in their sleep, you'll understand.
R14: Uh... maybe. We'll see.
R26: What else is different? Um... you're less angry.
R14: Am I angry? What do you mean, angry?
R26: And a lot more forgiving.
R26: Also much more self-aware and able to take criticism.
R14: Well... fine.
R26: Would you rather I said you got dumber and worse at things?
R14: Look, can we just change the topic?
(I need to get going, but perhaps I'll write more of this later.)