Hello, beloved swappers! Don’t worry, swaps IS happening, as always! Sign-ups post will go up, ummmm, soon. I meant to kick us off around the beginning of the month, but #life #got overwhelmed by the idea of needing to rewrite this FAQ, tbh. Sorry!
This year! We have moved to Dreamwidth, because Yuletide has moved to Dreamwidth, and because it seems like most of our constituency has done the same. We will probably continue to crosspost to the Yuletide LJ community in some capacity, linking back to DW posts and providing a forum for LJ-only swappers to continue to ask questions and make contact when their yahoo emails inevitably fail. ;)
Tags will remain the same: “omnomnom” for candyswap, “who likes books” for bookswap, and “nice cuppa” for drinkswap (er, just as soon as I'm able to request their creation on DW). As on LJ, we strongly encourage swappers to track tags
for the swaps they are interested in.
(Go to your DW Account Settings >> Notifications afterward, to make sure all the tags you wanted definitely took!)
And now…onward!( FAQ! )But seriously, when are sign-ups going to be open for Yuleswaps 2017?
Soon, I swear. Tonight, I hope, but realistically, might be more like tomorrow or Tuesday. I will get it together. I promise. Swaps will happen.
Happy swapping, swappers!!!!
Kat (and sleeps, in spirit)
The Thick of It / BBC SherlockFIC LINK: Red Right HandAUTHOR LINK: jackmarloweRATING/WARNING(S):
G | swearing WIP?/WORD COUNT:
Complete | 1001 wordsMAIN CHARACTERS:
Malcolm Tucker, C.A. Magnussen, Mycroft HolmesFIC SUMMARY:
When Mycroft Holmes decides to do business with the country's rising media mogul, he chooses a middleman who knows something about government and the papers. Malcolm Tucker is not best pleased.RECCER'S NOTES:
Very well-written, short, very unsettling. Will stay in your head for much longer than it takes you to read either it or this rec, so get to it. A truly excellent crossover.
Does not require knowledge of both fandoms, but for Sherlock
fans: Malcolm Tucker is terrifying Glaswegian press officer for Number 10. TTOI
fans: Mycroft Holmes "occupies a minor position in the British Government". (This is a lie.) Magnussen is a blackmailing media mogul.
cor it's quiet here innit
Did this a few months ago. Trying again. I have become a more active poster, but only by a bit. I have been rewatching things, adjusting to a new job, and so on, so it felt time to do it again.
Describe yourself in five sentences or less: I'm a long-time internet citizen with too many fannish interests to count. I'm a high school English teacher in my first year of teaching, so I'm constantly exhausted. My commute to work is so long that it's having an impact on my health. I'm 26 and employed but live with my parents and dogs. I'm sometimes too much of an open book online, but I'm an introvert.
Top 5 fandoms: Stargate SG-1. Avatar: The Last Airbender. Amorphous DC stuff including Young Justice, Wonder Woman, and Arrow nostalgia at the moment. Always Doctor Who. YouTube stuff?
I mostly post about: Screams into the void, be they about fandom thoughts that I have no other outlet for or things about my real life I don't want to directly put in anyone's lap. Also tons of Dear Author Letters because I have an exchange addiction.
I rarely post about: I don't actually post about politics and religion often, but I don't shy away from them either.
My three last posts were about: Two Dear Author Letters and one post about how terrified I am to return to work on Monday.
How often do you post?: A few times a month at least since I started making an effort, sometimes more with motivation.
How about commenting?: Every time I go through my reading page, I try to find at least one thing to comment on unless it's redundant. I don't always succeed, but I am a big proponent of reciprocity of interaction for fanworks and am a generally supportive person when I can be.
Q: I have been asked to be a bridesmaid by a longtime (over fifteen years) and very dear friend. This woman is the sister I never had, and we’re closer to each other than we are to many of our own family members. I happily said yes without realizing that her tastes and budget far, far exceed mine.
She is marrying into a great deal of money, and she’s having a huge, expensive wedding. That’s fine. The problem is that the dresses she selected for her bridesmaids START at $7,000. That’s right—$7,000 is the price of the cheapest of her choices, and that does NOT include alterations, shoes, jewelry, hair, make up, etc. The dress that she favors comes in at $15,000 before alterations.
She did not give us any kind of warning that the dresses she is considering are so expensive. I’m working, but spending $7,000 plus on a dress that I will wear for less than one day (not even) and then never wear it again (it is beautiful, but it is bridal) is an expense I cannot justify. And if she opts for her favorite, at $15,000 before alterations…
I know that being a member of the wedding party is expensive. When she announced her engagement and when she asked me to be a bridesmaid, I immediately started trying to save, but I didn’t think that being part of her wedding would be this expensive. I am also hurt that she didn’t give me a heads-up but waited until we were at the salon and looking at her choices. I pulled her aside and told her that I would have to back out of being a bridesmaid, and I told her WHY (that I cannot afford the dress she chose, nor the shoes, the accessories, alterations, and more). I told her that I would be happy to participate in another way (perhaps do a reading), and if that wasn’t possible, then I would be content to be a guest. She was very, very upset with me, told me that I couldn’t back out, etc. The wedding is still a year from now so I would think there is time for her to ask someone else to be a bridesmaid.
Since then, I’ve called her and emailed her and she hasn’t responded. I finally wrote her a long letter, explaining that I valued her as a person and our friendship, and that I very much wanted to be a part of her wedding, but that unfortunately a $15,000 dress and even a $7,000 dress is completely out of my budget. I have a job but after rent, insurance, loans, and other expenses, I sometimes have to skip meals in order to save even a little for emergencies.
The thing is, she grew up like me—working class poor and didn’t have much. Her fiancé is a great guy and I’m truly happy for her, but I’m hurt that she did not ask me what I could afford to spend on a bridesmaid dress, shoes, and accessories. I have enough debt as it is, and I can’t and won’t spend $20,000 just on the bridesmaid accoutrements. I’d have to borrow to do it.
But now she’s mad at me and sent me a letter in return telling me how hurt she was that I backed out, that obviously I don’t value her or our long friendship because if I did, I would be there for her wedding. She said that none of the other bridesmaids nor the maid of honor backed out (maid of honor is her sister; other bridesmaids are her fiancé’s sisters, and her fiancé’s family is paying for their dresses, etc.) so that tells her that I don’t care about her. She said that I don’t deserve her and she is never talking to me again.
Have you ever heard of anything like this? Are brides now so unreasonable that they don’t take their bridesmaid’s budgets into account when selecting dresses? Should I have told her my limits re: the cost of the dress? She also told me that I was not welcome at her wedding. I am mourning the end of a fifteen-plus-year friendship, and am hurt and bewildered.
—Unhappy ex-bridesmaid and blacklisted ex-friend
A: Dear UEABE,
Most couples honestly don’t ask their bridal party about their budget before picking out dresses or tuxes or whatever else. But most couples don’t pick a $15,000 dress, holy crap.
It’d be awfully nice for her to consider her bridal party’s financial situation (I imagine most of the readers here tried to), but at the end of the day, your budget is your own personal responsibility, not hers. It’s your obligation to keep your finances in check and be vocal if some obligation is stretching you too thin. Which is exactly what you did! You were right, is what I’m saying here. Telling her you couldn’t afford it and stepping down were the entirely right decisions.
Everyone is in a different financial situation. But fifteen grand is… a lot. Even considering the fact that we’re not all coming from the same place financially, that’s a lot of money.
It was your choice to spend that lump of cash or opt out, and it was her choice how to respond to the news. She decided to take it personally, and frankly, I don’t know what you could’ve done to avoid that. It sucks. It’s just not your fault. You couldn’t have foreseen a $15,000 dress, and you couldn’t just dig in the couch to find that money once it was proposed. Her hurt feelings suck, but they’re unfounded and not your responsibility.
You say your friend had the same financial background as you before meeting this guy, but I’m wondering if she just cannot relate to “not being able to afford it.” Even folks who consider themselves on the same financial page are usually in very different places. In trying very hard (so very hard) to give the benefit of the doubt here, I’m thinking maybe she just cannot fathom how you can’t afford this dress, and assumes that means you’re prioritizing other things above her wedding (which you are—rent and food and electricity). But on the other, wide-eyed judgey hand—this girl has lost her mind. Fifteen thousand dollars for a dress? That’s crazy talk, and her accusatory response was out of line. Maybe after the wedding is over, she’ll find her common sense again. But till then, you’ve done what you can, and I would try not to give it another blessed thought.
P.S. We know, we thought we were being trolled too… but we did some digging, and all we can say, is we give this AAPW a very high chance of being 100% real.
Name: Alene works for now
Location: northeast Texas
Describe yourself in five sentences or less: I'm outdoorsy yet cursed with horrible grass allergies. I believe in love but never for me. I'm a hermit who's regrettably a nurturer and a fixer. I rarely meet a book I won't devour. I have a 90% chance of turning the wrong way at an intersection.
Top 5 fandoms: Lucifer, Court of Thorns and Roses, all things Middle Earth, Guild Hunter, varying bandfic
I mostly post about: Travelry, hikery, kayakery
I rarely post about: Squashy feeling-things
My three last posts were about: State parks, the TPWD geocache challengs, and anti-aging products
How often do you post? Depends on if I've done anything interesting lately
How about commenting? Not friends with anyone or in any communities yet, but when I am, it varies. I get chatty phases and quiet phases.
- listening to:Lucifer S1 binge
We have one work in the collection that didn't reveal with the rest. We just tried unrevealing the collection and re-revealing it, so AO3 might send you a second email. Just ignore it!
We're working on solving this issue!
Stories and artworks are now visible here. You should receive an email from AO3 with a link to your gift soon, but you can also find it here: http://archiveofourown.org/users/YOUR-USER-NAME-HERE/gifts
Author/artist reveals will happen in exactly ONE WEEK, on October 20 at 12 p.m. PDT. (What time is that where I live?) We will leave the archive open for submissions so if there are additional treats (of any size), that you would like to post, you may do so during this period.
Please note that works posted for exchanges tend to get buried when archives go live, as a result of earlier posting dates. We advise that you change your publication date so your work doesn't get lost in the fray. To do so, simply click Edit on your post and scroll down to the Associations heading. Check the box next to 'Set a different publication date' and change it to today's date.
As always, if you have any questions or concerns or the gift you have received goes against the challenge rules, please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we will handle it as soon as we can.
Thank you everyone for participating and thank you all for your patience! We've had more stumbles than we're used to this year, as the whole mod team has had some life events happen that take priority, so we truly appreciate everyone sticking by us!
- thinking about:
due: 2017-12 (dec), event: advent calendar, keyword: fandom, keyword: original character, keyword: rpf, medium: art, medium: fic, medium: icons, medium: multi, medium: poetry, posting: 2017-12 (dec), sign-up/claiming: 2017-10 (oct)
DEAR ABBY: I have been friends with a woman for the last 30 years. Our children are the same age. My daughter, who is in her late 20s, has a number of tattoos on her arm that she can cover with clothing if she chooses. However, she doesn't cover them often because she likes them and they mean something to her.
Recently, I showed my friend a picture of my daughter that showed one of the tattoos on her upper arm. My friend said, "Oh, I am so sorry about the tattoo," and proceeded to cover the tattoo with her hand, implying that my daughter would be attractive if it weren't for the body art. I was shocked.
I have always been supportive of my friend's children and have never criticized any of them, even though I haven't agreed with everything they have done. I was so hurt by her comment that I was speechless. I'm not sure I can continue the relationship feeling this way. But I'm hesitant to lose a 30-year friendship over something I might be overblowing. Am I being too sensitive? How do I resolve this? -- COMPLETELY THROWN BY THIS
DEAR THROWN: For a friendship of 30 years to end over one thoughtless comment would be sad for both of you. Sometimes people say things without thinking, and this is an example. Resolve your feelings by talking to her in person and telling her how deeply hurt you were by what she said. It will give her the chance to apologize and make amends.
- thinking about:
adult offspring, body modification, children, dear abby, family, friendship, having children, parenting, parents and adult children, parents and children, parents and grown children, personal appearance, women's bodies
DEAR ABBY: Yesterday I was in a retail store with my service dog. The clerk asked me what kind of service dog she was and I replied, "She's my service dog." She kept pressing me as to exactly why I have one, so I asked her if she was inquiring about my disability. When she said, "Yes," I politely informed her that federal HIPAA laws protect my right to privacy. She then said -- loud enough for everyone in the store to hear -- "I don't know what the big deal is. I just want to know what the dog does for you."
Please let your readers know how to be around a person and their service animal:
1. You do not have the right to ask about the person's disability. To do so is rude. Most people prefer strangers not know their medical condition. The dog may be for PTSD, a hearing or seeing dog, or to alert the person to a medical emergency.
2. Children (and adults) need to understand that when service animals' jackets go on, the dogs know it's time to go to "work," and they take their job seriously. At that point, they are not pets and should not be treated as such. If a child rushes a service dog, the animal may react badly because it is there to protect its person.
3. You may ask to pet the dog, but don't assume it will be allowed. If given permission, the dog should be scratched under the chin only.
Service animals know their place. It's a shame that most people are not as polite. -- NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
DEAR N.O.Y.B.: Thank you for sharing this information. According to the Americans With Disabilities Act website (ada.gov): "Businesses may ask if an animal is a service animal or ask what tasks the animal has been trained to perform, but cannot require special ID cards for the animal or ask about the person's disability."
It's officially past midnight in my time zone, so that means all assigned works should be posted and complete! We will be checking works starting now and in the morning and if we find any that are not up to the challenge guidelines, we will be sending out emergency pinch hits. (Boy, we hope not though.)
As long as everything looks a-okay, works will be officially revealed on October 13 at 12 p.m. PDT (Want to know when that is where you are? Or count down to it here!) If you still have treats to post, you may post them until that time.
There is only ONE HOUR LEFT before all late pinch hits must be complete and posted at AO3. The final deadline is 11:59 p.m. PDT on October 12. (Find out when that is where you live or count down to it here.)
At that time, we will run a check (to the best of our ability) that all works abide by the challenge rules.
Our current plan is to reveal works on October 13 at 12 p.m. PDT, but in order to that everyone who finished an assignment must have a gift. (If that doesn't come to pass, we will keep you aware as we adjust the reveal time accordingly. (Want to know when that is where you are? Or count down to it here!)
Hi y'all...Bryan in Texas here...Just here to make friends and for once in my life to feel free to be myself without hiding who I am...I hope y'all like me and I also hope to make a few friends here.
Bryan in Texas
There are slightly less than 24 hours left for anyone assigned a late pinch hit to get their works posted! This means every person who created a gift should have a gift in the archive at the time. All works must be posted and complete no later than 11:59 p.m. PDT on October 12. (Find out when that is where you live or count down to it here.) We will check, to the best of our ability, to make sure all works follow the rules of the challenge, so while people may edit their posts at any time, your works MUST be considered complete.Our current plan is to reveal works on October 13 at 12 p.m. PDT, as long as everyone who posted a story or artwork has a gift. (If that doesn't come to pass, we will keep you aware as we adjust accordingly. (Want to know when that is where you are? Or count down to it here!)
I am an older, sexually conservative woman who got herpes from a man I was dating. He’s a pillar of the community and did not tell me he had herpes. I had a long dry spell before we started dating. My issue is that I have an unlabeled bottle of herpes medication in my desk drawer at work. My administrative assistant asked for some pain relievers, and I opened my desk drawer and shared from a labeled, over-the-counter bottle of acetaminophen. I saw her staring at the unlabeled bottle in the drawer. Later that day I went back to my office, and she and another person had actually opened the unlabeled bottle and were looking at the medicine! I was too stunned to say anything, and they left. I guess they looked at the color and numbers on the pills and looked up the medication. In the few months after that —I kid you not—several people at the office have “casually” mentioned herpes and how disgusting it is. At the company potluck, no one touched my dish. One co-worker asked about a red spot on my hand and said loudly, “Yuck, it looks like herpes!”
One odd thing about this is that I have been extraordinarily financially generous to the admin who peeked and told. I don’t understand why this is happening. I used to like my job, and I make a very high salary. If I leave the company, I fear this issue will follow me. I was not in the least bit promiscuous in my life (truly). I feel so ashamed, though.
Answer: That is absolutely horrifying—both that your administrative assistant would paw through your unlabeled medication and that your co-workers are now mocking you for a confidential medical condition (one that, by the way, is both extremely common and easily managed with medication, and not something you should feel ashamed about or isolated by). What they’re doing, in addition to being cruel and unprofessional, is also a violation of the Family and Medical Leave Act, which prohibits the disclosure of private medical information in the workplace. It’s unbelievably childish to treat a dish you prepared as somehow “contaminated,” doubly so when it’s common knowledge that herpes cannot be transmitted via potluck. The fact that this is your subordinate makes the issue additionally uncomfortable, but you do at least have the authority to correct her. It’s understandable that you felt too flustered and embarrassed to address the issue in the moment, but you should absolutely set up a meeting with her and make it clear that it’s wildly inappropriate for her to go through anyone else’s medication at work—labeled or otherwise—and that it is a potentially fireable offense. If your office has an HR department, you should bring them into the conversation, because (once again!) it’s not appropriate for employees to mock their colleagues for their perceived or actual medical conditions.
Proceeds go to https://hispanicfederation.org/unidos/
This bit from the info says it all, I think: "Vocals Performed by Marc Anthony, Ruben Blades, Camila Cabello, Pedro Capo, Dessa, Gloria Estefan, Fat Joe, Luis Fonsi, Juan Luis Guerra, Alex Lacamoire, John Leguizamo, Jennifer Lopez, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Rita Moreno, Ednita Nazario, Joell Ortiz, Anthony Ramos, Gina Rodriguez, Gilberto Santa Rosa, PJ Sin Suela, Tommy Torres, Ana Villafañe."
LMM talks about the song (and stands by his Tweets at Trump):
There are just about 48 hours left for anyone assigned a late pinch hit to get their works posted! This also means any one with already posted works has the same amount of time to make adjustments or edits to their works. We will be closing the archive promptly at 11:59 p.m. PDT on October 12
. (Find out when that is where you live
or count down to it here
Our current plans is to reveal works on October 13 at 12 p.m. PDT
, as long as everyone who posted a story or artwork has a gift. (If that doesn't come to pass, we will keep you aware as we adjust accordingly. (Want to know when that is where you are
? Or count down to it here
Q. Pets are not family, are they?: My childless sister “Sally” and I are close but are having a disagreement. Sally lives several hours away, and my 8-year-old daughter and I try to visit for the weekend about once per month. The problem is that my daughter has severe pet allergies, and Sally has two cats and a small terrier.
Though she keeps her house as clean as possible, the very presence of these pets causes my daughter to sneeze, congest, and sometimes break out in hives. I’ve repeatedly asked Sally to either get rid of them or keep them outside during our visits, but Sally claims that though she loves her niece, she can’t keep her pets outside all weekend because the cats are “indoor only,” the dog is too little to stay outside, and coyotes are a danger. She also told me that I was out of line to ask. Was I? They’re only animals, after all, and her niece is family. When she visits us she boards them or gets a sitter, so I don’t see why she can’t do the same when we visit. She’s also suggested that my daughter take allergy medication, but I find that out of line. Is it? How can we resolve this?
A: The most important thing to do here, I think, is to make sure you don’t let a conversation about reasonable accommodation turn into one about whether your sister’s pets “really count” as family. (I’m on your side in the sense that I think a human child’s health is paramount here, but I just don’t think it will be useful to turn this into a litigation on your respective reproductive choices.)
It’s absolutely fair of you to say that the present situation is dangerous to your daughter’s health. It’s also fair that your sister is anxious about leaving her dog outside for an entire weekend, especially if she lives in a coyote-heavy area. If she were willing and able to hire a pet sitter during your visits, that would be an ideal solution, but since she isn’t, you should advocate for your daughter’s health and stay in a nearby hotel so that she can get a full night’s sleep without having difficulty breathing.
Incidentally, unless your daughter has an issue with allergy medication, I’m not sure why you wouldn’t have some at the ready with you, given that she might have a reaction to someone else’s pet at any time. That doesn’t mean she’ll be suddenly able to sleep comfortably in a house with three small furry animals, but there’s nothing wrong with giving someone allergy medicine for an allergy attack.
Assignments are out! How do you feel**? Horrified, delighted, confused, cautiously optimistic?
*Bears: shorthand for panic, apathy, writer's block, anything that keeps you from writing. When the deadline approaches, the bears have been known to eat your toes.
**Please keep details very vague to prevent giving away your assignment.
currently has two pinch hits!
The minimum for fic is 2,000 words. The minimum for art is lineart with basic colors/tones as well as background OR two lineart drawings. The deadline is October 22nd at 11:55 PM UTC.
To claim, please comment to this Dreamwidth post
with your AO3 username and the pinch hit you'd like to claim.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My roommates think it is OK to eat asparagus with their hands. However, I believe this looks childish and that asparagus should be eaten with a knife and fork. Is it really a finger food?
GENTLE READER: Yes, it really is. Every once in a while, etiquette likes to shock people, and this will do it.
However, as it offends you, you can invest in asparagus tongs. Miss Manners assures you that seeing what look like small silver forceps on the dinner table will produce an equal amount of shock.
Yuletide 2017 assignments have been sent. You can find your assignment by:
My Sign-upMy Assignment
- checking your email, if you have collection-related emails from the Archive of Our Own enabled in your Preferences.
Stay Chill, Stay Silent
This is a secret
exchange. Don’t announce what your assignment is. Don’t reveal to your recipient who you are or what you plan to write for them. In fact, please don’t contact them at all. You can send questions through the mods at email@example.com (but please
read further in this post before you send any questions).
I have questions!!
Naturally! Right now there are three kinds of questions: questions that we would like you to send right away; questions that we ask you to hold off sending until October 15th; and questions we can’t help with at all.Questions to send immediately
Questions to hold off sending until October 15
- My assignment doesn’t have the fandoms and characters I offered - what’s wrong? - We haven’t heard this one for a while, but if that does happen to you, please email us.
- I don’t have an assignment! Where is it? - Please check that you signed up… But yes, please do let us know.
Questions not to ask us
- Could you please ask my recipient to unlock/complete their letter? - Please give them, and us, a few more days.
- I don’t understand my recipient’s prompts. Could you ask them…? - Again, please give us a few days. If your question is very general - for example, they include a term you don’t recognize - you may be able to sign in to IRC or Discord and ask other participants! Please be careful not to give away what fandom you’re writing, and for whom.
- How exactly do I fulfil my assignment? Do I have to… - Again, please give us a few days, see above question, and see the FAQ.
The FAQ may answer some of your questions.( Asking for more details through the mods )
- My assignment is terrible. Can I change it? - No. If you have an assignment that matches what you offered, please either work to fulfil it, or default.
Your assignment is due at 9am UTC on 18 December. In your timezone, that will not be the end of 18 December. It may be early. It may even still be the 17th
(If you happen to be wondering, later, “when’s the deadline again?” you can check your assignment email, or look on the 2017 Yuletide collection
- either at the top, or in the Schedule
And last and most important, have fun!
I'm de-anoning as the coder behind the letters app
here so that people can easily post corrections and ask for updates in the lull between now and Madness.
Of course, the original Dear Yuletide Writer and spreadsheet
post is where you should start if you want to get your letter listed; the app will be updated per that post, including all corrections. App-specific fixes
: please comment on the corrections comment
on this post if you see any fixes (tagset, letter links, bugs) that need to be made.Madness & more:
In the hope of making this useful for Madness (and the future?), I've put the code and a roadmap of features that will be added here on Github
. Everyone is welcome to comment on what should be added next.( More details )
We have closed sign-ups for Yuletide 2017, and are now running matching. This is the process of figuring out who will write for whom, so that everyone gets an assignment and an assigned author.
- Your sign-up is locked in and cannot be edited.
- The sign-up number will go down a little as we delete duplicate (glitched) sign-ups and sign-ups from banned participants.
- The sign-up summary has stopped updating. It last updated with 12 minutes to go before closing.
- If none of your offers matches another person’s request, we will contact you (generally through email) and give you a deadline by which you must either provide us with more fandoms and characters that you can write, OR choose to delete your sign-up. However, if just one of your offers matches another person’s request, you can sit tight and wait for your assignment.
- At the same time as assignments go out, we’ll send pinch hits.
- It’s a good idea to check the email associated with your AO3 account, as we may use it to contact you - not just if you’re unmatchable, but also if your author has questions for you.
Assignments will go out by 15 October, but may go out earlier. Please ensure that if you are writing a letter, it is complete by the end of 15 October in your time zone.
Here we go!
Dear E. Jean: My new husband's family is loaded; mine is solid middle class. He and I took great pride in planning and paying for our own small wedding and saved up for a very budget-minded honeymoon to Rome. On our wedding day his parents gave us a card that said, "A little bird told us you could use some help with your honeymoon." The card contained a check for $10,000! Although we knew we should have saved it, we blew every cent of it on an upgrade at a fancy hotel and swanky dinners and had the time of our lives. When we returned, the first thing I did was call his mother and thank her again for the wonderful gift. Imagine my shock when she said, "You're welcome, dear. Take all the time you need in paying us back." What the?!? It was a gift, not a loan! My husband and I live paycheck to paycheck. I have no idea how to handle this, and my husband doesn't want to confront his parents. Eeeek! —Blushing and Bewildered Bride
DANG!: As I always say, your family will bilk you before anyone else. Send your idiots-in-law a handwritten note of glorious gratitude for the "grand trip," etc., in mushy-mushy detail. Conclude with a list of why you love them. The last item on the list should be their "gift of a heavenly honeymoon." Both you and your husband sign it. Add a P.S.: "Mom mentioned the word 'loan' on the phone. Of course, we'd never have spent a penny if we'd known, but we will be happy to pay it back at $5 a month."
We still need a pinch hitter for #12. Generally, we only do posting/claiming at the Google group, but I'm going to go ahead and do it here, too. Comments are screened, so if you want to claim this here, go ahead.( Pinch Hit #12 )
Yuletide 2017 sign-ups end at 9am UTC on 9 October
. This is the last day to sign up.Here is a countdown
.Here are sign-up instructions
Here is us wishing you good luck to get your sign-up in, if planning to!Note
: If you intend to write a letter to your author (this is optional) (and different from the Optional Details which Are also Optional), please make sure that you put the link in your sign-up form before sign-ups close - you can't add it afterwards, or otherwise edit your sign-up.
"So, fellow ambassadors, where should we designate as the capital, bearing in mind the long history and proud traditions many of our members have and taking into account--"
"The humans will screw anyone, won't they?"
"Earth. If it's not going to be my homeworld, at least make it one where the natives are up for some fun."
As Spock would surely say, the context
is only logical, Captain.
DEAR ABBY: I am a bridesmaid for my brother's upcoming wedding. However, his fiancee is throwing out some crazy mandates for the big day.
1. All family members must wear contact lenses. Glasses will not be allowed because they look ugly in pictures. (Both her mom and my parents wear glasses.)
2. She made my father get dental work to "improve his smile."
3. I recently tore my ACL, and she says I can't bring crutches to the ceremony because she doesn't want them in the pictures.
How much more of this should our family put up with? I love her as my niece's mother, but not as my future sister-in-law. Would it be better to tell them I won't be a bridesmaid? I am afraid to speak up because I want a relationship with my niece. -- AFRAID OF BRIDEZILLA
DEAR AFRAID: Your brother's fiancee appears to have gone off the deep end. Weddings are supposed to be about love, commitment and the joining together of two families, not the photo album.
While I sympathize with her desire for a "perfect" wedding, the idea that your parents and her mother must invest in contact lenses or miss seeing the ceremony and reception because glasses aren't "allowed" is ludicrous. And the suggestion that you leave your crutches and risk further damaging your ACL is off the charts.
Talk to your brother. Perhaps he can make his ladylove see the light. If not, I wouldn't blame you -- and your parents and her mother, by the way -- if you decided to skip the "show."
Mods: can I have an ableism tag?
We have two open pinch hits at Crossovering that need to be claimed! These will be due October 12 at 11:59 p.m. PDT. Please respond at the group links below or e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org. (Optional details and such are also viewable at the links.) Thank you!
PINCH HIT #012 (link)
Request #1: Almost Human, due South, Lupin III
Request #2: Almost Human, due South, Lupin III, Pushing Daisies
Request #3: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Fantastic Four (Movies 2005-2007)
Request #4: Almost Human, DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Request #5: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Mad Max Series (Movies)
Request #6: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Pushing Daisies
PINCH HIT #013 (link)
Request #1: Merlin (TV), White House Down (2013)
Request #2: iZombie (TV), Supernatural
Request #3: Dark Angel, Supernatural
Request #4: iZombie (TV), Psych
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Describe yourself in five sentences or less: I'm a forty-something in the process of reminding herself that it's okay to have a life of my own beyond what I do for others. That I'm not a bad person if I put myself first sometimes. I have a good professional career and family and friends I love, but I'm looking to reconnect outside of my tiny circle. Being an introvert, I'm not into being a barfly, so hopefully I can find new associations in this medium.
Top 5 fandoms: Cats, Harry Potter, tabletop gaming ... wait, do I still have fandoms? I haven't thought about some of them in years. I love hearing about other people's fandoms, though, and I might find a new one I gel with in the process.
I mostly post about: Cats, observations about life, Internet, and the world, and my own life.
I rarely post about: Frivolous stuff or work details. I'm not into posting about what I had for dinner, I just feel dumb when I do that. My work talk is very technical and difficult to explain in layman's terms, and it doesn't define me, so it's just not a topic I write on much.
My three last posts were about: Politics, personal life, journal sorting out, but I owe my list a series of posts on my trip to Northern Europe last spring.
How often do you post?: It varies. Sometimes it's multiple times a day, sometimes not for weeks. It depends on what I am thinking about at the time.
How about commenting?: I like commenters who provide food for thought and civil and honest debate, but I don't play nice with people who flame or troll. It's fine to disagree and it's fine to be honest about what you think, but ad hominem attack will earn you a spot on my ban list. I do comment when I have something to say, but expect honest opinions, not necessarily platitudes. I'm not trying to be offensive, but I also believe that only fake people say what they think people want to hear, and I try to be real.
By the way -- if you don't like politics or personal stuff, no problem. I post that stuff under a filter, and if you don't like that stuff, just let me know and I'll leave you off the filter and never think the worse of you for it.
Thanks to a link from the Facebook group "Fans for Accessible Conventions," I learned about an nifty guide prepared for The Majestic Hotel, a hotel in North Yorkshire UK.
( good and missing )
Fandom: NCIS: New Orleans
Characters/Pairings: Loretta Wade x Dwayne Pride
Rating & Warnings: PG/None
Estimated Fic Length: 2400
Notes: This is a get together fic that is mostly fluff. I mostly need grammar help but if you are familiar with the show that would be a perk
Dear Amy: I am a married woman. My husband and his younger sister are of a Mediterranean nationality. Family relationships are "closer" there, I think, than those in North America or Europe.
I was shocked to see my husband and his sister in our bathroom together. She was putting on makeup, he was brushing his teeth.
We were in a hurry to leave the house, but there was a half-bath downstairs that one of them could have used.
I have been in the bathroom with my own older brother, but it was to install new toilets -- something practical -- not to do something "intimate," that, in my opinion, is only for a husband and wife to share.
I felt very "strange" about this situation. Then it happened a second time. I have decided that if it happens again, I will join them in the bathroom and put on my makeup or brush my teeth with them to see if they understand that I'm disturbed by this situation.
-- Too Close!
Dear Too Close!: If brushing one's teeth or putting on makeup is considered an uncomfortably intimate act that only married partners should share, then we need to completely revamp sexual education in this country.
I don't think this is an ethnic thing or a national characteristic.
I think this is a "you" problem.
Taking your letter at face value, these two siblings were basically sharing a mirror.
Many siblings that grew up in close households and perhaps shared a bathroom with other family members throughout their childhoods wouldn't think twice about sharing their bathroom ablutions.
Because this bothers you so much, you should probably express your concern directly to these two, instead of passively trying to get your message across. But you should also anticipate some bewilderment on their part.