Yesterday I clicked a Resistbot thing.

Today I set up a small monthly donation to the Lawyers' Committee for Civil Rights Under Law. I got Kit The Big Day by Terry Lee Caruthers and Robert Casilla, a picture book about the first Black woman to cast a vote in Tennessee, and it really moved me, so I wanted to support an organization that's helping Black women vote today. The Committee is one of the foremost groups working to restore and protect voting rights across the country. I've been a fan of theirs for a long time and was very pleased to see that Biden tapped Kristen Clarke, their president and executive director, to lead the DOJ's civil rights division. They seemed like a good choice.

Maybe this weekend Kit and I will write postcards.

Two weeks! Today I did a "proper" political action: sent an email through the White House contact form saying that means testing for pandemic relief payments is bullshit and especially bullshit when it's based on 2019 earnings. 2019 was a million years ago. Just give people money!

I haven't forgotten these; I just haven't been logging them. I read Let the Children March with Kit and had some good discussions with them about racism. (They pointed to an angry white policeman and said "He looks sad," so we talked about how sometimes when you share what you have, you have less, and that can make you sad or angry even when you know it's the right thing to do.) On Monday there was a blizzard, so instead of ordering takeout, like we usually do on Mondays, J cooked and we donated the cost of a takeout dinner to the Ali Forney Center, which gives unhoused queer kids a place to go in a blizzard. And tonight I'm writing a piece for my shul's haggadah about "Dayenu" and reminding people that they can be enough. (Which will take more than five minutes, but not much more—it's short, and I've been thinking about it for a while.)

I also put in three hours of Readercon work on Sunday, but that never feels like activism even though it is in a way—at least, I try to bring an activist sensibility to that work, and I think the con is better for it.

This stage of habit-building, where I've been doing it long enough to feel like I want a break but not long enough for the harder parts to get easier, is always the most challenging. But I press onward.

I dropped donations into a couple of fundraisers. I can't do that every day, but I'm glad to do it when I can.

Kit picked up several of the library books I'd put holds on—they were so happy to be able to go to the library again, even just for a quick lobby pickup—and yesterday and today they read Hair Love and Something Happened in Our Town and Let the Children March. (They showed off their books to their teacher, who said, "Wow, what great choices for Black History Month!" I... had forgotten that February is Black History Month. We just got those books because they looked cool!) We also read some pro-social books, When I Miss You and When I Feel Scared, that I think of as activist, in the sense that it's still pretty radical to treat kids' feelings as important and worth paying attention to. Books like that are also part of raising a kid who acknowledges other people's feelings as important, which I view as a foundational tenet of both progressivism and being a decent human.

Speaking of which, a thread on Ask a Manager about professional boundaries with nannies led me to explicitly say to Kit that caring for them and teaching them is Hannah's job—a job she loves, as she was quick to say, but still a job—and that's why she gets to go home every evening and stay home on the weekends, just like we stop our work at night and don't work on the weekends. I'm not actually sure they knew that she works for us. We frequently tell them to respect her hour-long lunch break, which she tends to spend reading on the couch because there isn't really a private place in our house where she can go while she's on break, but I think they see that as equivalent to not knocking on our doors when we're resting or on the phone, not as something she's owed as a person who's working hard all day.

(For that matter, I'm not sure how clearly Kit understands "job" and "work" and related concepts, including money. They're still not great at answering abstract questions like "What do you think money is?" so I'll probably just sit them down for a lesson at some point. My inclination is less to say "Money is what you trade to someone who does something for you or gives you something" and more to say "Money is a great big imaginary thing that we all imagine together". But I should probably start with goods and services and supply and demand.)

Like a lot of Americans, I wasn't explicitly taught how to grapple with the ethics and emotions of hiring domestic labor. My personal approach is to treat it exactly like hiring someone for any other kind of work, which is to respect them as a professional, pay them fairly, and not behave any less formally around them than I would in the office or with a client. We've made a point of talking to Kit about how important it is to stay out of our house cleaner's way while she's working and to respect her and her excellent work, but we haven't done quite the same with our babysitters, and I want to do better on that front. Kit thinks of Hannah as a bonus parent, more or less—she's in the category of "my grown-ups" along with us and Kit's grandmothers and favorite teachers—and I'd certainly rather they err in that direction than in the direction of bossing her around like she's a servant. But there's a middle ground that I think it would be good to be in. Something to keep working on.

Yesterday I felt pretty unwell, so I think all I managed was to click on a petition or two. I was hoping to take the FreshDirect bags to the food pantry, but that didn't happen. I'll do it next week.

Today I made a small donation and filled out another couple of petitions.

I've also been doing a running Twitter thread of pro-social, anti-racist, pro-queer etc. picture books and board books. And I reserved a few more library books based on other people's replies to it. And I chatted with Kit about the kinds of things one might write on a postcard to the president, which they're very interested in doing. The blank postcards arrived and I hope we can make and send some this weekend.

Every bit counts, right? That's the point of this whole thing. Even if all I did was send a few dollars or click a few links or do a little more to raise my child, that's more than nothing.

Today I spoke out when I could have stayed silent, and backed up someone who'd stuck their neck out in a challenging situation. I can't really say more about it than that, but I'm proud of doing it.

Scrolling through openletterbot to find a letter to sign worked so well yesterday that I did it again. Maybe I'll make a daily practice of that as my minimum action, and then try to do something in addition on days when I can.

I'd hoped to send postcards with Kit today, but I seem to have either run out of blank postcards or stashed them somewhere extremely safe, so I ordered more. I already have a roll of postcard stamps. I'll pre-print some card fronts with images from http://tinyurl.com/angrypostcards (where I just updated the postcard back template to say "President Biden" and "Leader Schumer", yay!) and leave others blank for Kit to make art on. Making it a thing we do together will help me to do it; that roll of postcard stamps dates to 2017, when I clearly had good intentions but never quite got off my ass.

And I reserved a bunch of anti-racist picture books at the library, because our local library branch is finally open for book takeout! It's been closed for most of a year because pandemic and we've missed it so much. So on some future day, my action will be reading and discussing Let the Children March or Something Happened in Our Town or Where Are You From? with Kit. I'm setting myself up for success!

I'm exhausted today and everything is hard, but that's the sort of day resistbot is for, so I scrolled through the openletterbot feed until I found one I agreed with (didn't take long!) and clicked the "sign this too" link. More of a one-minute action, but I did it and didn't let myself off the hook. And now Schumer knows that one more constituent wants him to stay strong against McConnell and get rid of the filibuster.

Today I taped up the box I've been filling with clothes as Kit outgrows them or we konmari them. Then I weighed the box, ordered the shipping label, scheduled the pickup, and printed and taped on the label. Now it's downstairs waiting to be picked up on Monday.

The box is addressed to the P---- family. They're refugees from El Salvador now living in New York. I don't know anything else about them except that they have three kids, one of whom is a bit younger and smaller than Kit and appears to really love the clothes we send. I was matched with them through the New Neighbors Partnership. If you're in New York and have a child, you can sign up to be matched with a family and send them your child's hand-me-downs. If you're anywhere, you can make a donation to NNP, or buy handmade goods from this Etsy shop run by one of the neighbors. Or you can look for ways to help refugees where you are.

(I'm going to try to include "and here's how you can do the same or similar things" links in every post, in case that helps anyone else with their activism practice.)

Incidentally, here's a great reason to shop at Primary: they accidentally sent us a duplicate order of the mittens and skirt we'd bought for Kit, and when I wrote to inform them, their customer service immediately gave me their blessing to donate the spares. I was very happy to add them to the box. I figure that a kid who's been wearing a lot of hand-me-downs might like to get a sparkly skirt that's just hers and has never been anyone else's. Also, Kit LOVES those mittens, and we love them too—they're really cozy and easy to put on—so I'm glad to share the joy.

To some extent, sending this box is a thing I would have done anyway, so I wasn't sure I should count it toward this effort toward daily actions; I was just waiting to hear back from Primary so I could put in the mittens and skirt and declare it full. But on the other hand, actually declaring the box complete and going through the process of shipping it off is something I always need a jumpstart on, and "What will my five-minute action be today?" was what jumpstarted me. Without that, it might have sat in my room for another week or two. Now, because I pushed myself a little to act and not delay, those mittens might even reach young Miss P---- before next week's snow. That feels important enough to count.

Going to try to track my activist efforts here, to help myself get and stay in the habit of taking a small action every day.

Today I used resistbot to urge my reps to close ICE's internment camps. You can too: text "SIGN PLTDJP" or "RESIST" to 50409, or DM "RESIST" to Resistbot.

And here we are.

( My takeaways from week six )

( Week Seven: Malchut and Shechina - Immanence, Manifestation, Divine Presence, Inspiration, Awe )

At the end of seven weeks, you have done whatever you could do in seven weeks. It both was and was not enough.

The 50th day is the festival. Jewish holidays tend to be a mix of the somber and the uplifting, and Election Day will undoubtedly be both those things. Vote, if you can and you haven't already; help others vote; and as the polls close and the results trickle in, take care of yourself and your loved ones. Remember that on any day, whenever you need to, you can start counting again, building your own pattern and your own habit and your own way of getting from where you are to where you will be.

Thank you so much for joining me on this journey. It's been genuinely therapeutic and invigorating for me, and I hope for you as well. <3

I'm very sorry for the lateness of this post; there's been some good but very urgent and intense stuff happening here and I had no brain at all for it. I'm still not sure I have brain for it tonight, but I know a few people have been counting along and I didn't want to leave you hanging any longer.

( My takeaways from week five )

( Week Six: Yesod - Foundation, Motivation, History, Vitality, Creation )

At the end of this week, you have taken six concrete actions for social change. You've worked on letting go of the urge to change the past and taken responsibility for repairing past wrongs. You've actively created some good things in the present. And you've taken time to look back over the past six weeks of thinking and planning and acting and appreciate what you've done. Even if you only made a single donation or sent a single postcard, that's a tangible accomplishment that could do some real good.

The seventh and final week is malchut/Shechina, the divine made real.

I've completed the post for hod, just in time. I'm glad I took the time to do it right. I think the entries for tonight and tomorrow night are really powerful and useful. I hope they are for all of you too.

( My takeaways from week four )

( Week Five: Hod - Presence, the Moment, Ritual, Thought, Acceptance )

This post currently ends on day 33 rather than going through to day 35, because one of the actions I'm taking to manifest a healthier future is trying to go to bed earlier even when it means leaving something undone. I'll come back to complete it tomorrow. Complete!

At the end of this week, you have taken three concrete actions for social change, and one action to sustain and preserve what's already good in the world. You've loved yourself as you are and made a plan for being who you want to be. You've supported yourself through anxiety, and hopefully out the other side. You've built some rituals and habits, extending now into the future. And you've expanded your idea of what taking positive action looks like. I hope this grounding in the present is helping with all that stress about the future.

Next week is yesod: foundation, motivation, history, and vitality.

( My personal stumbling block and anchor from week three )

As previously mentioned, netzach begins a new three-week group that deals with the past, present, and future—except in the reverse order, with the future coming first.

( Week Four: Netzach - Endurance, Tenacity, Vision, Victory, Eternity )

At the end of this week, you have taken three concrete actions for social change. You've crafted a vision of the future, and refined it. You've crafted a vision of your own future self and found ways to work toward that future self's sense of accomplishment. You've set up a schedule of actions so you can build a habit of acting. And you've gotten some large-scale perspective to pull you out of navel-gazing and remind you of wonder.

Next week we turn to hod, presence and the present.

( My personal budget and motivations from week two )

The discipline of gevurah has channeled the intense light of chesed, and that brings us to the week of tiferet.

( Week Three: Tiferet - Balance, Harmony, Truth, Focus )

At the end of this week, you have taken three concrete actions for social change. You've renewed your commitment, given yourself an anchor for when you feel adrift, and made a plan for moving a stumbling block out of your path. You've acknowledged truths about yourself and about the past and present. And you've built or renewed a relationship that supports your action or is itself an action, a tiny way that you've made the world better than it was.

Next week begins another three-week group: netzach, looking up and out at the future; hod, centering ourselves in the present; and yesod, grounding ourselves in the past. The first of these is netzach, the week of eternity, vision, endurance, and the long term.

Thanks for all the supportive comments on my last post. I'm glad to have such good company on this journey.

I realized that I didn't include a blessing for counting each night. Here's the one I'm using, in English because I don't know enough Hebrew to translate it: "Here I am, ready and prepared to take action toward building a nation governed by just and righteous laws. I undertake this journey to Election Day in homage to the ancient journey from liberation to revelation, and with the intention to manifest both liberation and revelation in this time. Blessed are You, Holy One, who show Your love for Your people Yisrael through the gifts of Torah, mitzvot, discipline, and law. Today is the [] day of mishpatim, making [] weeks and [] days of mishpatim." (Or you can reverse the order of days and count: "Today is [] days until Election Day, making [] weeks and [] days until Election Day.")

( My personal causes, roles, and actions from week one ) I feel like I'm already starting to see how these choices and self-understandings can interact, which makes me feel very empowered.

When I'm feeling all revved up and excited, I often overextend myself. Fortunately, the characteristic of week two is gevurah.

( Week Two: Gevurah - Strength, Judgment, Discipline, Discernment, Boundaries )

At the end of this week, you have taken three concrete actions for social change. You've also examined your capabilities and limitations, refined your sense of what's possible, budgeted your resources, and nudged yourself toward doing something challenging. And you've given yourself space to be who you are, a compassionate understanding of your motivations, and a vision of a better future.

Next week is tiferet, the week of balance, beauty, mercy, and truth, which channels the abundance of chesed through the judicious constraints of gevurah to create a steady, sustainable flow of energy.

Last year, Rabbi Miriam asked us to think of a phrase or idea to carry into the year, and the words "Help me let go" came into my head and proved to be very useful through the year. Now I'm seeking a touchstone for 5781. I decided to let the Rosh Hashanah liturgy speak to me, and what stuck in my head wasn't actually from the holiday liturgy but from the Ahavat Olam, a prayer said at every evening service.

Ahavat olam beit Yisrael am'cha ahavta;
Torah umitzvot, chukim umishpatim otanu limadta.

Our machzor, Mishkan T'filah, translates this poetically, and it's the translation that caught my eye:

Love beyond all space and time—
Your love enfolds Your people, Yisrael.
We receive it in your teaching:
Your gift of Torah, sacred obligations, discipline, and law.

This struck me as a very specifically Jewish way of understanding divine love, and having spent the last four years in an increasingly lawless country, I'm particularly attuned to the idea that law is a sacred gift.

I missed the omer count, and was delighted to find the sefirat ha'binyan; now that's over, I need a new nightly ritual. Out of curiosity, I counted seven weeks from Rosh Hashanah to see what I would find. On the Hebrew calendar, nothing. On the secular calendar, November 5th.

Which is not so far from November 3rd.

So I'm adapting this practice for the weeks leading up to Election Day, still working with the kabbalistic traits of divinity associated with the omer count, but interpreting them through the lens of "Torah, sacred obligations, discipline, and law" as expressions of divine love. Call it sefirat ha'mishpatim, counting and working toward a government that enacts and obeys just laws.

I'm putting together daily practices based on the divine attributes associated with the omer count, working somewhat from R' Yael Levy's lovely mindfulness-focused omer count guide Journey Through the Wilderness. Anyone who wants to join me in this is welcome to. I'm also including suggested readings for some of the days and I'd love links to other readings that feel topical.

Since tonight is already day six, I'll be playing catch-up a bit, but I really didn't want to leave out the week of lovingkindness, compassion, and generosity. Chesed is the beginning of all activism for me. I defined it once as "the love that's like God's love", the love that's less personal and more social and even impartial. Taking time to ground myself in chesed gives my activism strength and purpose.

( Week One: Chesed - Generosity, Love, Compassion )

At the end of this week, you should have a list of three candidates or organizations to support, at least one social change action that you feel you can do consistently and sustainably, and a little grounding in love and compassion for yourself, your community, and the world. Next week is gevurah, the week of strength, judgment, and discernment, and the outward-facing work begins.